Introduction
Every artist is accompanied through life by a little goblin at their side. Yes — each and every one. Even the most accomplished artists. And this little goblin happens to have a big voice, one that yammers in our ear more than we’d like. What does it squeal about? Simple: It seeks to prevent us from arting in the first place. That's its purpose, its passion and it finds many ways to do that.
In particular, this little goblin is especially loud and aggressive with suppressed-artists, those folks who squish down their creativity to the point where they don’t even art at all. Indeed, as Brené Brown observed…
There’s no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t. Unused creativity doesn’t just disappear. It lives within us until it’s expressed, neglected to death, or suffocated by resentment and fear.
It’s true. Everyone is born an artist! Every single one of us. Indeed, you were a child once with a strong and fearless creative drive with your markers, crayons, and Play-Doh. You had your childlike imagination and a want to express it, right? Of course you did! The mind of a child is a wondrous thing! But then that drive just waned, didn’t it? It just seemed to go to sleep inside of you, leaving you feeling emptier, less engaged, less you. Well, you can thank that little goblin for that unfortunate turn of events and, yes, it can be that powerful and long-lasting. But that drive didn’t actually evaporate away — it’s still there, waiting to be tapped and expressed. And this is important: Your creativity is important! In fact, it's life-changing. As Brené Brown further declares…
The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity. If we want to make meaning, we need to make art. Cook, write, draw, doodle, paint, scrapbook, take pictures, collage, knit, rebuild an engine, sculpt, dance, decorate, act, sing — it doesn’t matter. As long as we’re creating, we’re cultivating meaning.
Bingo! Some call it purpose, some call it a Path, some call it fulfillment and satisfaction, some call it dabbling, some call it sanctuary, some call it decompression, some call it a mystery, but whatever it is, it waits for you. And, yes, it can be something within your reach if only you have the impetus to grab it! Don't you owe it to yourself to be your complete self again? Don't you owe it to all those visions in your mind's eye, eager to manifest through you? Indeed, there's more at stake here than you think. "That stroke you are about to make on a painting is as much you as the next word you utter or the next breath you take," said Harley Brown. Indeed.
As for would-be artists, those who still have an active drive but hesitation to create, this goblin has actually set up a proverbial dam in your artistic flow to block you. And so you have this turmoil inside, as your flow keeps crashing against that dam, making an internal mess. And so you deny it to cope or wrestle with it on the down lo, living a kind of creative angst as your creative side tries to break free of these confines. And it can drive you nuts. Artist, you must be what you are! The Universe is calling you to your purpose! Don’t ignore it! It's time to grab that Acme dynamite and blow apart that darned dam! "If you hear a voice within you say, 'You cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced," said Vincent Van Gogh. Bingo.
When it comes to active artists though, now they’re a different bunch. They have their goblins by their side, make no mistake. And they can be particularly clever and shrill goblins to boot. But no matter…rather than live in subjugation or conflict, active artists have learned to walk forwards with their goblins, and despite all their incessant screeching and obstructionist antics. They’ve learned to live with that pesky thing despite it all, maybe even make friends with it, learning to listen to its blather without being defeated by what it says. They just keep moving forwards with their arting, come hell or high water. "The object isn't to make art, it's to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable," said Robert Henri. Yup.
So yes — you have this goblin beside you, too, as sure as the sun rises. You hear it, I know you do, but you may be denying it to cope, or perhaps you're misinterpreting its intent, misreading the message. Either way, it’s probably compromising your creativity already and in this, we want to address it head-on to get you back to arting! So let’s turn and look at our goblin, let’s talk about it so we, too, can learn to live with it better to get on with the delightful business of creativity!
The Goblin’s Manifesto
So what is this pesky little bother? Who is this goblin that bleats in our ear so often? Why, of course, it’s the ever-present, and all-too-loud “Not Enough” goblin. That little voice that constantly whispers — or yells, depending on how active your goblin is — “You’re not enough to create art, you’re not enough to be an artist, you’re not enough to do good art, you’re not enough to be anything more than you are, you're not enough to be anything more than you were allowed to be, you're not enough to be more than a one-hit wonder, you’re not enough, not enough, not enough…” And on it goes, ad nauseam like a broken record. Ugh!
And this little goblin can poke you with many sharp sticks: Imposter syndrome, insecurities, procrastination, fear of success, perfectionism, laziness, avoidance, envy, irritation with materials or surroundings, self-doubt, fixation on the achievements of others, comparisons, fighting deadlines, spinning our wheels and not calling “done,” fear of failure, chasing external validation, quitting mid-way, boredom, incessant distraction, and on and on. Quite literally, your little goblin’s DNA is fear, evolving into a host of manifestations to stop you with “I’m not enough” being its pure genetic expression.
But there’s more to this equation than just the goblin, isn’t there? Yes — in the most important way! Why? Because there’s you! You’re part of this dynamic just the same, and you bring to the table an arsenal of Truths that, when embraced in all their prickly authenticity, are far more powerful and compelling than any shrill goblin.
The Truth, Your Truth
The thing is, “I’m not enough” really isn’t about creating art at all. That’s the irony of it. Your art is your art — it exists on its own terms, ready to deploy at your command. You just gotta smack that button! As counter-intuitive as that seems then, the Truth is that “I’m not enough” is more about what’s lurking inside your psyche: Your history, your personal narrative, your hurts and wounds, your wishes, dreams, and longings, and even your desire to be more than you were told you could be, more than you were allowed to be. Perhaps life beat creativity down in you, maybe someone you trusted was cruel or careless, maybe things went sideways to sideline your art. It could be any number of reasons, but the fact remains, the Not Enough goblin is speaking too persuasively in your ear. So how do we get it to chill out?
Well, the annoying thing is, Not Enough won’t ever pipe down. Fear is simply part of being human and part of the creative journey every artist must walk. But those who walk with the most poise are those who hear their goblin yet stride forwards despite it, side-by-side. But how do we get to that point? How do we walk with our goblin in confidence when it’s telling us things that specifically corrode our courage? Well, my friend, the only way around it, is through it. Rather than wait for the goblin to go away — it won’t — or lessen a bit in its yelling — it won’t — or change its tune — it won’t, we’ve got to face our goblin head on and have a decent conversation with it. Yes — we must face it. There’s no avoiding this step — all successful artists have done it and continue to speak with their goblins, and you can, too. Just be ready, because in so doing, you’ll probably have to ask some deeply personal, perhaps even painful questions about the kinds of things that actually stop artists from arting. For instance, rather than fixating on these questions:
- Why can’t I do this? What’s wrong with me?
- Why is everything I create so bad? Do I not have any talent?
- Why can’t I create my piece as good as so-and-so?
- This shouldn’t be so hard! Why am I struggling so much?
- So-and-so makes it look so easy! Do I just not have the ability?
- This didn’t come out at all like I wanted it to, what’s the point?
No no no. That’s your goblin speaking again and you’re making the mistake of being thrown off balance by it. Because really, it’s not a matter of whether you believe it or not, it’s whether you allow yourself to be distracted by it! Work against that distraction! Focus! In that spirit then, consider these questions instead:
- What am I afraid of if I fail?
- What scares me if I succeed?
- What part of me am I protecting if I don’t art, if I stay safe? Why is that so strong?
- What narrative am I secretly adhering to? What storyline is really playing out inside me?
- Did someone betray my trust and optimism to squelch my creativity? Why am I still giving them so much power?
- Did an event or situation tarnish my drive to create art? That’s in the past, so why are I still stuck there?
- Am I being distracted from creativity by other things? Why am I allowing that to happen?
- What am I sacrificing of myself by not expressing my creativity? Why is that my choice?
- If I was creative again, how do I think that would make me feel? What needs would be met?
- What would some new goals be, if I was creative again?
- Is Not Enough actually trying to protect me from something? Why? And is that really still relevant in my life?
- What is Not Enough actually trying to tell me? (Dig deep.)
If you excavate deep enough and address these questions in total honesty — if you look Not Enough squarely in the eyes — you can come to a place of understanding and reconciliation, and what was once a struggle becomes a calling. In fact, with all this, you might even come to thank Not Enough, and even more, to reassure it and cradle it with encouragement rather than regard it with contempt or shame. Add it all up then, and perhaps your next steps will even become more deliberate and strategic, and not so reactive and blindly taken. So boil it all down, and the Truth is that arting doesn’t happen in the absence of Not Enough, with the dispersal of fear, it happens in spite of it. Learn to embrace Not Enough then, and go make some art!
Conclusion
The trick is not expecting to become fearless or pretending to be fearless. You will never not be fearful in your arting to some degree. Fear is simply a part of the human condition, and so a part of arting. So no…fear isn’t going anywhere. Instead then the real trick is to learn how to move forwards with your fear but on your own terms, to move forwards with No Enough right beside you, but you’re picking the routes this time, not that goblin. Take back the wheel! You know what Path to walk, don’t you? So just shove that goblin into line and start walkin’! Get going, just start moving forward, one step at a time. Start small if you have to with baby steps, then work your way up to bigger ones, and sooner than you think, you’ll be running, coursing through your creative landscape with ground-sweeping strides! You see, creativity has a momentum and once it gets going, it’s very hard to stop, like a speeding train on greased tracks. So brave the Path that calls you, the route you know you’re meant to take, and hold that goblin’s hand nice and gently, and off you go!
You creativity sleeps and waits — longing, languishing, roiling. It slumbers inside you like a creative Cthulhu — but your supernatural powers were meant to be wide awake and stomping around, driving the world mad with your glorious creativity! So wake it up! Start casually if need be like go to a paint n’ sip, putter around in your art, work on something small and easy. Get that pump primed! After that perhaps, take some classes and workshops! They're all over the place and are a tremendous means to get the gears going. Then magic will happen — your art will start to nibble at your attention more than your goblin does until it’s taking big chompin’ bites and your fears give way to curiosity and enthusiasm! No goblin ever can withstand an onslaught of curiosity! "Stay firmly in your path and dare. Be wild two hours a day!," said Paul Gauguin. And as Carrie Kei Keim said, "You have a million excuses. Write anyway."
So allow your arting to consume you completely and you’ll finally know what it means to be you again, the fuller and more engaged you, the you you were always meant to be. Welcome back, my friend.
“What separates artists from ex-artists is that those who challenge their fears, continue; those who don't, quit. Each step in the artmaking process puts that issue to the test.”
― David Bayles
