The Dented Can: Creating Imperfectly In An Imperfect World Part I

Introduction

You know what’s strange? Nearly every single other endeavor expects a beginner to perform below average at what they’re learning for the first time. Like, does anyone really expect a newbie to be reprogramming the Eastern seaboard within twenty-four hours after they first learn basic programming? No. Every other profession brings with it an expectation of a learning curve, of taking the time and effort, sacrifice and hardship to improve and reach a level of proficiency.

But not when it comes to art.

Curiously in contrast, when it comes to making art, many people seem to expect themselves to do far far better than their actual experience, training, and Sight warrants. In fact, many expect their art to be perfect right out of the gate, exactly as it is in their head as though the translation from our Vision to our hands was a direct, unimpeded translation.

But art doesn’t work that way.

In fact, in few other pursuits can our final product end up not jiving with our vision more so than in art. We may start with this clear vision in our head but sometimes we end up either far from our mark or with something different entirely! Indeed, I’ve been at this art gig for over forty years, and I’m still learning hustles just to keep pace with my visions and expectations. It takes a lot, and a whole lotta sacrifice, courage, and gumption. In this, arting isn’t really something we just do. Even the most casual creative effort entails a Path, a Way that asks us to dig deep and wrestle with some pretty big themes. 

And those themes start early. Isn’t every child a born artist? Yes — yes they are. Any box of crayons or pot of Play-Doh can testify to that. But somehow, for any number of reasons, that natural desire to art gets beaten down in so many of us, who then grow up into creatives who have become fearful of their creative drives, and so we all lose. As Brené Brown observed…

Let me sum up what I’ve learned about creativity from the world of Wholehearted living and loving: “I’m not very creative” doesn’t work. There’s no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t. Unused creativity doesn’t just disappear. It lives within us until it’s expressed, neglected to death, or suffocated by resentment and fear. The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity. If we want to make meaning, we need to make art. Cook, write, draw, doodle, paint, scrapbook, take pictures, collage, knit, rebuild an engine, sculpt, dance, decorate, act, sing—it doesn’t matter. As long as we’re creating, we’re cultivating meaning.

And one of the worst fears when it comes to arting is imperfection, that fear of inadequacy, of failing to convey our vision perfectly, of making mistakes, coming up short, of ridicule and shame, and that pesky notion that we’re "not enough,” all of which can solidify into a sturdy creative roadblock that can actually stop someone from being creative outright.

This is the perfidious toxicity of perfection. It sits out there, taunting us mercilessly and so we chase it — but it always seems to stay just out of reach of our grasping hands. This isn’t because we’re inadequate or not trying hard enough, it’s because perfection is an illusion, a sham, a con, a myth — a delusion. It’s an impossible task. It’s the lie we tell ourselves and each other as the secret of success. But what usually ends up happening is that this demand for perfection is actually a subtle, systemic form of bullying. Because think about it — browbeating someone, expecting someone to achieve something unachievable isn’t only monumentally unreasonable, it’s a form of torment. This is exactly why perfection stops so many people from being creative — they instinctively wish to avoid that torture whether imposed by others or welled up inside of themselves. And it also explains why so many are hesitant to be creative in our art form because look at the ridiculousness of the goal! Yet look how we continue to lift this bogus notion up onto a pedestal, even right from the start of our art career then ceaselessly pursue it like Don Quixote on an exhausted horse again and again and again. Then we beat ourselves up when we inevitably fall short, as if it was some big surprise.

Stop. Just stop.

Because there’s light at the end of this absurd tunnel! There is a way to put perfection in its place, even in our perfection-driven art form. There is a way to navigate the expectations out there and within our own heads to find satisfaction in our creativity even when it’s as imperfect as it can get. And there is a way to find joy again in our arting no matter the outcome — you can find it again and keep it burning bright! Because the sooner we realize how unreasonable perfection actually is, the sooner we find freedom, expression, and confidence in our arting. Even better, we perhaps find our Voice, the true gift given to each of us that finds its purest expression in our creativity. So let’s talk about some ideas that can keep us dodging those pointy sticks our little perfection goblins keep jabbing at us so we can not only make some real progress in our creativity, but find our enthusiasm for it again as well. 

In this the real trick is as difficult to do as it is simple to say: To accept imperfection as not only a part of arting, but even bigger, as a part of life itself, and a part of you as well. To embrace imperfection not only as an inevitability in an imperfect world, but to recognize the humanity it actually contains. Any machine can bang out seemingly perfect whatsits, for example, but only a human being can infuse imperfection into the mix to make each one wholly unique, all by accident too. And it’s in that where the beaut of imperfection is to be found, a beauty that elevates art even higher, transcending even the inspiring vision itself. So let’s discuss all these big ideas to help us wrestle with our own perfection goblins to put them in a firm headlock! It’s time to stop bullying yourself and each other! So let's explore all these issues in this three-part series about this pesky, highly mobile goalpost...so letsa go!…

The Imperfect Goal

That vision in our head sure seems perfect, doesn’t it? Isn’t it a gleaming, glorious, wildly inspiring concept in our head that seems just within reach, there for the taking? Doesn’t it capture our hearts, our guts, our soul, and fascinate us like bonkers? Yes — yes it does. It has to, on purpose. Because if it didn’t, would we be so prone to stop what we’re doing to realize it through art? It has to be a beaming bright inspiration to get us off our duff to manifest it into reality with a single-minded determination that can only be described as a possession, an obsession, a mania. It has to absolutely captivate us in order to make itself real through us. But the important bit about all this is to recognize this unavoidable truth: There’s no way to translate that vision into reality as perfect as it exists in our mind’s eye. That’s the Catch-22, the perfect dilemma of all creativity from the beginning of time. “No artist is pleased,” revealed Martha Graham. “No satisfaction whatever at any time…There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching…” she astutely observes. And she’s right on the money.

So while our vision may be exquisitely perfect in our mind, our goal should be far more grounded and reasonable: The acceptance that we’ll unavoidably fail, being fallible, imperfect human beings in an imperfect world. So the goal then becomes to fail forwards, to express the creative blessings we’re given as we art and find our hallelujah in that. Maybe it’s to expand our knowledge base or skillset, maybe it’s to explore some theme or narrative, perhaps it’s to express some curiosity about structure, composition, color, or pattern, maybe it could just be the creation of an inspiring pretty horse, or it could be something else…whatever. But whatever failing forwards means to us, that should be our imperfect goal with every piece we ever create. As Vince Lombardi said, “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.” Once we accept that our vision is fundamentally unattainable then, we quickly learn to grasp at what we can grab and work with that to the best of our abilities at that moment on our learning curve. Then soon enough, we’ll learn to make peace, to reconcile with the inevitable imperfection of our art to instead find jubilation in the doing and in what we did accomplish despite it all.

Recommended reading:

Vision Conniptions: Managing Our Mind’s Eye In Art

The Perfectionist Paradox

Paralyzed By Perfection: Breaking Free Of The Cycle

Gadding About With The Goblin: The Little Brat Beside Every Artist

The Imperfect Journey

I’m sure you’re keenly aware of this already: Our creative journey is imperfect, too. There’s really no unchallenged smooth sailing with any piece, is there? There’s always a detour, a surprise, a correction, maybe even a pothole to be found with every piece we undertake. It’s all part of the arting experience. That grail vision of perfection may be leading us on in perfect glory, but it’s a rugged landscape we stumble through in reality!

In this, the Japanese celebration of imperfection, wabi-sabi, comes in quite handy to process this contradiction. In wabi-sabi, it’s the journey, not the destination — the making of art, not the finished piece — that holds the value in the arting experience. Like what peace, satisfaction, enlightenment, sanctuary, purpose, and meaning did you find in the making of your art? As such, we’re asked to be present in the process, to acknowledge and enjoy every moment, every tool strike or brushstroke, even if it’s driving us bananas. Be aware, be present, be one with the process. But the point is this: The journey is inherently an imperfect one, that there’s more value to be found in the struggle, pursuit, and exploration of it than in the presumed perfection of the finished product. That imperfection itself is the art.

This is so liberating because it removes the value placed on our completed piece, making it something more incidental, to instead plunk it onto the journey getting there. And what’s more, it accepts that all works made in this world are flawed, are imperfect, will always come up short compared to our perfect vision, but that this isn’t only perfectly okay, it’s perfectly normal and actually preferred. That there is tremendous beauty, novelty, and meaning to be found in the imperfections in our art and effort, features far more important to our soul than impossible perfection. Indeed, there’s the old and revered art form of kintsugi (or kinsukuroi, meaning “gold joinery”) in which broken pottery is mended, but gold leaf is used to actually showcase the cracks and chips that are now part of the piece’s story. In this, the broken piece has actually become more beautiful by being broken, it’s story now more unique and complex than before. Sounds a bit like life, doesn’t it? Well, the same is to be said of our art, too! It becomes more meaningful, unique, and lovely because of our “errors,” our individualism and humanity poured into it, not some kind of “perfection” that has all that scrubbed out. Something to think about.

But the journey happens on a bigger stage as well. Know it or not, but all artists are on the Hero’s Journey as described by Joseph Campbell. He broke down this iconic quest into three phases: separation, initiation, and return. For artists, this is how it plays out:

• You feel inspired to be creative, your art calls to you (separation).
• You embrace the unknown and uncertainty to create it, facing your demons, especially the ones that insist “you’re not good enough,” “you’re not ready,” or “it needs to be absolutely perfect or you’ll have failed” (initiation).
• You create something that enriches the world: Your art, your Voice, your Truth (return).

Yes — yours is an epic journey! This can be why it’s such a daunting one for so many because asks for so much courage. As Henri Matisse observed, “Creativity takes courage.” Yup, yes it does. But you got this! Just as long as you don’t get stuck where most would-be artists get stuck: In the initiation phase. And it’s not because they lack the vision, skill, or talent, it’s because they’re asking the wrong questions of themselves…

• Why can’t I make this perfect, what’s wrong with me?
• Who do I think I am to become an artist?
• Is my work good enough?
• Why can’t I do this as good as so-and-so?

You see, those are questions that derive from our fear, they’re dis-empowering questions. Instead, we should be asking questions born of our strengths, empowering questions. So consider these instead:

• What’s my next artistic goal?: Not in my dreams, not someday, not tomorrow — now. Next. And be highly specific such as finishing a piece, prepping a resin, scoring your first juried show, composing the next piece, learning a new media, learning color theory, tinkering with your prices, taking a class, trying a whole new form of sculpture or painting, etc. The more you can break it down into a nice babystep, the better — something immediately attainable. This is how we build tangible progress, through lots of well-crafted babysteps.
• Why does my art matter to me?: Learn to “come home,” as Elizabeth Gilbert would say. Your epic journey will fling you into wild success and horrendous failure, both equally traumatic, and you’ve got to “find your way home” each and very time that happens. We do that by building our “home” right on top of what makes our arting matter to us in the most profound way so no matter what our journey throws at us, we stay empowered to keep cranking out art. So ask yourself why do you create this kind of art? Also ask, why this subject matter? And perhaps the most profound question of all — why is your art calling to you now? Why this drive in the first place? And dig for the deep answers, too, not just because “horses are beautiful.” Keep asking “why?” Excavate deep into your motivations and inspirations.
• What resources do I already have at my disposal?: Many artists tend to fixate on what they don’t have rather than what they do, tending to be deprivation-centered types. Well, stop that. Instead, focus and build on what you do have like your skills, experience, moxie, curiosity, courage, resilience, space, time, connections, tools, ambition, inspirations, etc. If you take real stock, you see you actually have quite the arsenal! So gather it all up and put it to work, building from there.
• What do I want out of my success? How do I want that to look and feel? This is a pretty big question and how you answer will shape your creative future, so be painfully honest with yourself for your own sake, for your art’s sake. Do you want a side hustle? Do you want a sanctuary? Do you want to exercise your artistic Voice? Do you want to make a living at it? Do you want expression? Balance? Fame? An exploration? Communication and connection? Celebration? Just what is it? And it can be many things, so tease them all out. But identify these goals with your art and you’ll tend to pick pathways that best align with your Voice and pass over those that are needless distractions. Absolutely, once we know how we want our success to be like, we’ll plot our course towards it with more clarity. On that note then, it’s also important to have our own measures of success rather than throwing our expectations into the four winds. This grounds us and keeps us on the journey that aligns with our Voice, and best serves our mental health and therefore our drive to keep arting.
• What will I spend my energy on?: When it comes to being a creative, what you spend your energy on is everything! See, you only have a finite amount of time on Earth, only so many hours in a day, and only so much “water in your well.” As Crista Cloutier observes, “Everything is currency: money, time, attention, emotion.” And she goes on to push, “Are you spending yours on stuff, drama, and comparison…or on learning, making work, building relationships, and taking tiny brave steps? Travel light artist. The less you drag along, the further you can go.” Be extraordinarily careful with what you spend your energy on! The more miserly you are with it, the more you have to focus on your art goals (with the exception of family, friends, and living, of course). That means give your time sinks or penchant for drama, your spinning wheels and procrastinations a deep and sometimes painful rethink. You see, your baggage — which is what determines where your spend your energy — can inhibit your progress in ways more tricksie than having an inadequate skillset or knowledge base. So keep that energy beam as focused on your art goals as possible!
• Who can and what will help me on my journey?: Who are your inspirations? Your mentors, sages, and guides? Who are your colleagues and peers? Your connections and networks? Your community? What orgs or groups do you belong to? Who are your cheerleaders? And here’s a big one — do you feed your inspiration or do you starve it and then get frustrated when it doesn’t deliver? Remember, your muse is one of your supports, too! But wrap it all up and the truth is no artist finds success alone, at least not the ones who prosper. It’s a group effort. But critically important, but most often ignored in our niche market, is our public image. How we come across in the public eye — our PR — is the very basis of our success. If it’s great, we’re golden, but if it’s tarnished or grody, we’re toast. So everything you do or post or say in public, sometimes even in private, is a part of your PR so pay it careful attention. The fact of the matter is this: Many folks simply won’t support an artist that comes across poorly or problematically, for good reason. So always act in ways that ensure your brand is on point to serve your goals best. Along those lines, this also means we need to behave in a professional way, at all times. Not only is this good for your own name, but this also attracts fellow professionals to collaborate with you. Never forget then that your behavior and associations aren’t only a reflection on you, but on your collaborators as well. If you misstep bad enough then, don’t be surprised if collaborators distance themself from you. All together then, a successful studio is built on many points of support so reach out, build relationships, feed your inspiration, be mindful of your brand and PR, and act in professional ways, and you’ll find questing companions soon enough!

Do you see how shifting the attitude in your question-asking changes everything? And the more honestly you answer those questions, the better. The truth is your journey is your apprenticeship, your testing ground and learning landscape. Hey, it’s said that Michelangelo quipped at eighty years old, “At last my apprenticeship is finished, I am ready to begin.” This means that there is no perfect time to start your Path — so just start! You’ll figure things out as you go and sure, you’ll stumble and end up in the brush, but you’ll find your way out, right? Of course. So as Kris Kringle sings in that Christmas Rankin-Bass classic…

Put one foot in front of the other

And soon you'll be walking 'cross the floor

You put one foot in front of the other

And soon you'll be walking out the door

You never will get where you're going

If ya never get up on your feet

Come on, there's a good tail wind blowin'

A fast walking man is hard to beat

Recommended reading:

Becoming An Artist: How to Make Art like a Human by Embracing Failure, Discovering Your Creative Voice and Finding Joy in the Process by Scott Christian Sava

Wabi-Sabi and Realism: Strange Bedfellows

Your Voice: What Makes Your Art Special

Journation: A Symbiosis For Growth

The Fame Game

Nature vs Nurture: The Question of Talent or Skill

Priming The Pump: Inspiring Your Inspiration

Finding Your Fingerprint: Artist Branding

Conclusion to Part I

Clearly, the artistic Path isn’t as cut and dry as some people would believe. It takes hardwork, sacrifice, resilience, and vision to carve out a presence in any genre, but luckily our niche art form tends to be quite welcoming of good work. Thank goodness!

Even so, creating art is always a challenge in more ways than one so unless we’re willing to meet that challenge, we won’t be arting for very long. And that’s a darn shame. We need more people in our community happily arting away. We literally need everyone on deck! Why? Because of three beneficial reasons. First, it gets more people on the other side of the studio door and that spells better treatment of the creative process and artists as more folks get on the same page. Second, it fills up our classes and pushes the issue of the Novice and DIYer divisions ever more urgently. The sooner our shows can flip their priorities to benefit these groups, the better. And third, a group that creates together, sticks together better. It simply strengthens bonds and connections, it builds community and camaraderie, things we need a lot more of. Art has this miraculous ability to heal hearts and build connections where words and action simply fail.

Anyway, in Part II, we’ll continue our exploration with the Imperfect Notion and the Imperfect World, two biggies that entail some weighty issues. So until next time, it’s perfectly okay to be gloriously imperfect! That’s your humanity showing through so flaunt it!

“Have no fear of perfection — you'll never reach it.”

- Salvador Dali

The Dented Can: Creating Imperfectly In An Imperfect World Part I

Gadding About With The Goblin: The Little Brat Beside Every Artist

 

Introduction

Every artist is accompanied through life by a little goblin at their side. Yes — each and every one. Even the most accomplished artists. And this little goblin happens to have a big voice, one that yammers in our ear more than we’d like. What does it squeal about? Simple: It seeks to prevent us from arting in the first place. That's its purpose, its passion and it finds many ways to do that.

In particular, this little goblin is especially loud and aggressive with suppressed-artists, those folks who squish down their creativity to the point where they don’t even art at all. Indeed, as Brené Brown observed…

There’s no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t. Unused creativity doesn’t just disappear. It lives within us until it’s expressed, neglected to death, or suffocated by resentment and fear. 

It’s true. Everyone is born an artist! Every single one of us. Indeed, you were a child once with a strong and fearless creative drive with your markers, crayons, and Play-Doh. You had your childlike imagination and a want to express it, right? Of course you did! The mind of a child is a wondrous thing! But then that drive just waned, didn’t it? It just seemed to go to sleep inside of you, leaving you feeling emptier, less engaged, less you. Well, you can thank that little goblin for that unfortunate turn of events and, yes, it can be that powerful and long-lasting. But that drive didn’t actually evaporate away — it’s still there, waiting to be tapped and expressed. And this is important: Your creativity is important! In fact, it's life-changing. As Brené Brown further declares…

The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity. If we want to make meaning, we need to make art. Cook, write, draw, doodle, paint, scrapbook, take pictures, collage, knit, rebuild an engine, sculpt, dance, decorate, act, sing — it doesn’t matter. As long as we’re creating, we’re cultivating meaning.

Bingo! Some call it purpose, some call it a Path, some call it fulfillment and satisfaction, some call it dabbling, some call it sanctuary, some call it decompression, some call it a mystery, but whatever it is, it waits for you. And, yes, it can be something within your reach if only you have the impetus to grab it! Don't you owe it to yourself to be your complete self again? Don't you owe it to all those visions in your mind's eye, eager to manifest through you? Indeed, there's more at stake here than you think. "That stroke you are about to make on a painting is as much you as the next word you utter or the next breath you take," said Harley Brown. Indeed.

As for would-be artists, those who still have an active drive but hesitation to create, this goblin has actually set up a proverbial dam in your artistic flow to block you. And so you have this turmoil inside, as your flow keeps crashing against that dam, making an internal mess. And so you deny it to cope or wrestle with it on the down lo, living a kind of creative angst as your creative side tries to break free of these confines. And it can drive you nuts. Artist, you must be what you are! The Universe is calling you to your purpose! Don’t ignore it! It's time to grab that Acme dynamite and blow apart that darned dam! "If you hear a voice within you say, 'You cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced," said Vincent Van Gogh. Bingo.

When it comes to active artists though, now they’re a different bunch. They have their goblins by their side, make no mistake. And they can be particularly clever and shrill goblins to boot. But no matter…rather than live in subjugation or conflict, active artists have learned to walk forwards with their goblins, and despite all their incessant screeching and obstructionist antics. They’ve learned to live with that pesky thing despite it all, maybe even make friends with it, learning to listen to its blather without being defeated by what it says. They just keep moving forwards with their arting, come hell or high water. "The object isn't to make art, it's to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable," said Robert Henri. Yup.

So yes — you have this goblin beside you, too, as sure as the sun rises. You hear it, I know you do, but you may be denying it to cope, or perhaps you're misinterpreting its intent, misreading the message. Either way, it’s probably compromising your creativity already and in this, we want to address it head-on to get you back to arting! So let’s turn and look at our goblin, let’s talk about it so we, too, can learn to live with it better to get on with the delightful business of creativity!

The Goblin’s Manifesto

So what is this pesky little bother? Who is this goblin that bleats in our ear so often? Why, of course, it’s the ever-present, and all-too-loud “Not Enough” goblin. That little voice that constantly whispers — or yells, depending on how active your goblin is — “You’re not enough to create art, you’re not enough to be an artist, you’re not enough to do good art, you’re not enough to be anything more than you are, you're not enough to be anything more than you were allowed to be, you're not enough to be more than a one-hit wonder, you’re not enough, not enough, not enough…” And on it goes, ad nauseam like a broken record. Ugh! 

And this little goblin can poke you with many sharp sticks: Imposter syndrome, insecurities, procrastination, fear of success, perfectionism, laziness, avoidance, envy, irritation with materials or surroundings, self-doubt, fixation on the achievements of others, comparisons, fighting deadlines, spinning our wheels and not calling “done,” fear of failure, chasing external validation, quitting mid-way, boredom, incessant distraction, and on and on. Quite literally, your little goblin’s DNA is fear, evolving into a host of manifestations to stop you with “I’m not enough” being its pure genetic expression.

But there’s more to this equation than just the goblin, isn’t there? Yes — in the most important way! Why? Because there’s you! You’re part of this dynamic just the same, and you bring to the table an arsenal of Truths that, when embraced in all their prickly authenticity, are far more powerful and compelling than any shrill goblin.

The Truth, Your Truth

The thing is, “I’m not enough” really isn’t about creating art at all. That’s the irony of it. Your art is your art — it exists on its own terms, ready to deploy at your command. You just gotta smack that button! As counter-intuitive as that seems then, the Truth is that “I’m not enough” is more about what’s lurking inside your psyche: Your history, your personal narrative, your hurts and wounds, your wishes, dreams, and longings, and even your desire to be more than you were told you could be, more than you were allowed to be. Perhaps life beat creativity down in you, maybe someone you trusted was cruel or careless, maybe things went sideways to sideline your art. It could be any number of reasons, but the fact remains, the Not Enough goblin is speaking too persuasively in your ear. So how do we get it to chill out?

Well, the annoying thing is, Not Enough won’t ever pipe down. Fear is simply part of being human and part of the creative journey every artist must walk. But those who walk with the most poise are those who hear their goblin yet stride forwards despite it, side-by-side. But how do we get to that point? How do we walk with our goblin in confidence when it’s telling us things that specifically corrode our courage? Well, my friend, the only way around it, is through it. Rather than wait for the goblin to go away — it won’t — or lessen a bit in its yelling — it won’t — or change its tune — it won’t, we’ve got to face our goblin head on and have a decent conversation with it. Yes — we must face it. There’s no avoiding this step — all successful artists have done it and continue to speak with their goblins, and you can, too. Just be ready, because in so doing, you’ll probably have to ask some deeply personal, perhaps even painful questions about the kinds of things that actually stop artists from arting. For instance, rather than fixating on these questions:

• Why can’t I do this? What’s wrong with me?
• Why is everything I create so bad? Do I not have any talent?
• Why can’t I create my piece as good as so-and-so?
• This shouldn’t be so hard! Why am I struggling so much?
• So-and-so makes it look so easy! Do I just not have the ability?
• This didn’t come out at all like I wanted it to, what’s the point?

No no no. That’s your goblin speaking again and you’re making the mistake of being thrown off balance by it. Because really, it’s not a matter of whether you believe it or not, it’s whether you allow yourself to be distracted by it! Work against that distraction! Focus! In that spirit then, consider these questions instead:

• What am I afraid of if I fail?
• What scares me if I succeed? 
• What part of me am I protecting if I don’t art, if I stay safe? Why is that so strong?
• What narrative am I secretly adhering to? What storyline is really playing out inside me?
• Did someone betray my trust and optimism to squelch my creativity? Why am I still giving them so much power?
• Did an event or situation tarnish my drive to create art? That’s in the past, so why are I still stuck there?
• Am I being distracted from creativity by other things? Why am I allowing that to happen? 
• What am I sacrificing of myself by not expressing my creativity? Why is that my choice?
• If I was creative again, how do I think that would make me feel? What needs would be met?
• What would some new goals be, if I was creative again?
• Is Not Enough actually trying to protect me from something? Why? And is that really still relevant in my life?
• What is Not Enough actually trying to tell me? (Dig deep.)

If you excavate deep enough and address these questions in total honesty — if you look Not Enough squarely in the eyes — you can come to a place of understanding and reconciliation, and what was once a struggle becomes a calling. In fact, with all this, you might even come to thank Not Enough, and even more, to reassure it and cradle it with encouragement rather than regard it with contempt or shame. Add it all up then, and perhaps your next steps will even become more deliberate and strategic, and not so reactive and blindly taken. So boil it all down, and the Truth is that arting doesn’t happen in the absence of Not Enough, with the dispersal of fear, it happens in spite of it. Learn to embrace Not Enough then, and go make some art!

Conclusion

The trick is not expecting to become fearless or pretending to be fearless. You will never not be fearful in your arting to some degree. Fear is simply a part of the human condition, and so a part of arting. So no…fear isn’t going anywhere. Instead then the real trick is to learn how to move forwards with your fear but on your own terms, to move forwards with No Enough right beside you, but you’re picking the routes this time, not that goblin. Take back the wheel! You know what Path to walk, don’t you? So just shove that goblin into line and start walkin’! Get going, just start moving forward, one step at a time. Start small if you have to with baby steps, then work your way up to bigger ones, and sooner than you think, you’ll be running, coursing through your creative landscape with ground-sweeping strides! You see, creativity has a momentum and once it gets going, it’s very hard to stop, like a speeding train on greased tracks. So brave the Path that calls you, the route you know you’re meant to take, and hold that goblin’s hand nice and gently, and off you go!

You creativity sleeps and waits — longing, languishing, roiling. It slumbers inside you like a creative Cthulhu — but your supernatural powers were meant to be wide awake and stomping around, driving the world mad with your glorious creativity! So wake it up! Start casually if need be like go to a paint n’ sip, putter around in your art, work on something small and easy. Get that pump primed! After that perhaps, take some classes and workshops! They're all over the place and are a tremendous means to get the gears going. Then magic will happen — your art will start to nibble at your attention more than your goblin does until it’s taking big chompin’ bites and your fears give way to curiosity and enthusiasm! No goblin ever can withstand an onslaught of curiosity! "Stay firmly in your path and dare. Be wild two hours a day!," said Paul Gauguin. And as Carrie Kei Keim said, "You have a million excuses. Write anyway." 

So allow your arting to consume you completely and you’ll finally know what it means to be you again, the fuller and more engaged you, the you you were always meant to be. Welcome back, my friend.

“What separates artists from ex-artists is that those who challenge their fears, continue; those who don't, quit. Each step in the artmaking process puts that issue to the test.” 

― David Bayles

Gadding About With The Goblin: The Little Brat Beside Every Artist