Reversed Rivalry: The Power Of Shared Success

 

Introduction

So — you want to make it big in the equine collectibles world, huh? You want to make a big splash and become a nice big fish? But, hey, what artist doesn’t? It’s good to be a big fish. You garner nifty opportunities and connections not afforded to others, you enjoy certain privileges that come with being of a certain stature, you tend to earn more openings, and gallery and company relationships, licensing deals come your way more easily, and your sales improve as the regard for your work amplifies and expands.

But the truth is we don’t do this with skill and talent alone. Nope. Those things will only take you so far, particularly when it comes to earning real opportunities and relationships. And there are plenty of highly skilled and talented artists out there who fail regardless, so those factors just aren’t enough to get you going or sustain your momentum. Why? Because to actually become a big fish, it takes a lot more than going it alone — you need a community-minded attitude. 

Indeed, I’ve seen so many artists blow apart their potential not because they were incapable artistically, but because they underestimated the power of connection, even abused it. They got into feuds, they lashed out, or just generally behaved as a persona non grata that not only put off collectors, but also professional peers and companies as well. So what could’ve been valuable professional networks and lucrative company contracts simply dried up, and all because the concept of shared success wasn’t appreciated and practiced. 

Shared success? Yeppers. Those at the top of the game are collaborating, not competing. They’re building up, not tearing down — or more specifically, they’re building each other up rather than tearing each other down. Absolutely, if you want to succeed, you need to share your success! Without a doubt, sharing is the highest form of participation be it sharing information, doling out kudos and support, giving credit, lending a helping hand, providing a referral, or actually creating work together. In other words, the big fish keenly understand the power of shared success and actively seek to spread that around with their peers at every opportunity.

Conversely, those at the bottom compete, the lowest form of participation. Lowest? But the equine collectibles niche market is founded on competition! How is competition a problem for artists? Now yes — that’s quite true. We're an art form founded on comparative competition, let’s face it. However, that doesn’t mean this focus is the best one for the actual artists creating the work. See here’s the thing: While the collectors enthusiastically compete in the ring, the artists themselves do better with a different perspective. Why? Because competition between artists is fundamentally toxic and founded on inferior motivations. Honestly, one-upmanship and art rarely mix well. Insecurity, professional envy, resentment, annoyance, frustration, humiliation, disillusionment, despair, or perhaps even a flat out feud will poison the well, no matter how well-meaning that competitiveness may be. Unfortunately, I've seen so many competitive-minded artists really muddy their own experience with their cutthroat drives, usually ending up miserable, confused, and embittered on some level. There's this, too: The need to beat another artist smacks of insecurity and fear, definitely not a good look, and few good things come of that in the long run. On the other hand, the truly poised and confident artist doesn’t care one wit about beating their artistic peers as opponents. They’re too focused on improving their own work on their own terms, building bridges, and thinking up ways to elevate the art form for everyone. As such then, you can tell a lot about an artist’s character simply by which category they fall into — pay attention.

In the hopes then of inspiring more community-mindedness to improve our own chances at a happy future, let’s talk about the power of shared success and how we can dampen artistic dueling to create a more beneficial and balanced atmosphere for everyone.

Reversed Rivalry

The fully developed artist isn’t only skilled and talented, they also know exactly where any form of rivalry should exist: Within themselves. It’s them pitted against their older work and their worn out conventions and blindspots, not them pitted against their peers. As Ruelle sings in her song, Rival:

The tide is high

It's sink or swim

My only rival is within

Giants calling round the bend

My only rival is within

I won't let my demons win

My only rival is within

I will fight through thick and thin

My only rival is within

Kingdoms rise and kingdoms end

My only rival is within

This is where it all begins

My only rival is within

The tide is high

It's sink or swim

My only rival is within

That’s the headspace of the secure and successful artist! So if you want meaningful progress and actual evolution, you’ll be striving to better your own work rather than beating the work of others. You’ll also seek personal growth by inverting your focus into your own portfolio rather than gauging your worth through comparison with others. “Comparison is the death of joy,” as Mark Twain observed, and he’s absolutely correct. Without fail, with comparison usually comes envy on some level which is soon followed by resentment and disillusionment, things hardly conducive to sustained happiness and meaningful growth in the studio. If it gets really bad, in fact, you can even compromise your own Voice, a devastating blow for the unique purity, authority, and power of your work.

Now this isn’t to be confused with being inspired by the work of our fellows. Honestly, this is a wonderful thing! But it’s to remember that your fellow artists are your colleagues — they’re your innovative inspirations and fellow trailblazers to be supported and learned from, not your rivals to be crushed. Always remember that the truly successful artist seeks to elevate the art form, and a great way to do that is to look to peers as beacons of revelation and kindred souls. Hey, we’re all in the same boat, right?

Cheerleading 

This brings us to a very healthy behavior with our fellow artists and within the community at large: Cheerleading. Become a cheerleader and advocate for our artistic community — talk up work, show it off, share it on social media and in your business networks and social circles, and give referrals regarding the availability and talents of your peers. When we lift up the accomplishments of our fellows, we’re not only building a more cohesive arts community, we’re also role-modeling better behavior, building bridges, and, even better, potentially making someone’s day. It’s just a win win all the way ‘round!

So when an artist posts a finished piece or ongoing project on their social media, or an award, a triumph, or any sort of accomplishment they’re proud of, slather on the praise, talk it up, and share it within your own circles. Spread the love! Imagine what a positive and supportive landscape we could build if we're cheerleaders for each other!

The thing is, too, cheerleading also encourages people to actually take up our arts. Like, they see the positive reinforcement for arting and maybe that’ll inspire them to ignore their hesitations and just try it. And if we’re working to expand and elevate this art form, we’ll be writing or filming how-tos, or hosting how-to get-togethers even, to help others achieve their potential, also making a tremendous resource for beginners. In this dynamic way, sharing our success can actually grow the arts base and who knows how that’ll elevate the art form over time! Indeed, feed the arts and you also feed your own potential in the long game! Which brings us to…

Sharing Knowledge

Sharing success also means we share our knowledge not just with each other, but with beginners, too, to give them a leg up in this very difficult art form. So become a teacher, give seminars, host workshops, retreats, or classes, write or film how-tos, write an educational book, blog or vlog, become a depot of continued education, or mentor a beginner. Any which way, share what you’ve learned from your techniques and materials to your creative sensibilities and suppliers to your knowledge base about equine color, structure, and movement. The whole kit ’n’ caboodle! Because really — why are you holding back? Dig deep — why?

Because the truth is that confident, progressing artists share, they don’t hold back! They keenly realize that anything shared is going into fresh, new brains that’ll put their own spin on that information and probably in innovative, novel ways to ultimately come back to them, improved and refreshed. In short, they know all too well that whatever they share will come back upgraded to improve their own work. Hey, it’s an inevitability when so many brains work the same problem! But this is exactly why the artists most open with their methods and materials tend to evolve and grow the fastest — they understand the power of shared learning. Absolutely, we’re so much better together than apart!

Indeed, great artists rarely grow in isolation. Creating our work may happen sequestered away, but artistic growth hardly ever does. For instance, seeing how other artists tackle challenges, even how they process mistakes and techniques, can be immensely illuminating, or observing how they translated the same lesson in a wholly different way can be so insightful. Then having conversations with fellow artists can help us along our Path, even inspiring us in ways we never imagined. Really, what seems like a small observation from a peer can become art-changing for us! Indeed, observing how other artists work and interpret the subject can bust us past our own worn-out habits, leading to whole new levels of achievement and sustained growth in ways out of left field. But perhaps most helpful of all, community reminds us that we aren't alone in our struggles and confusions inevitable in the creative process in this difficult art form. We clearly see that every artist struggles, processes, and evolves, just like us, a deeply affirming realization. Honestly, if you really want to bust past a plateau or level up your work, stop trying to go it alone all the time! Dive into community, whatever that means to you, gleaning and giving back what you can in that creative symbiosis that elevates everyone's efforts, including your own.

There’s this, too: When we share what we’ve learned, we also have to plug up our own knowledge gaps and attend to glaring blindspots to provide others with the best information we can drum up at that moment. Honestly, there are few better ways to learn than by becoming a teacher ourselves. In all these ways then, when we endeavor to help others, we’re really helping ourselves in pro-active, tangible ways. It’s no coincidence then that those artists who pro-actively spread knowledge tend to become the most knowledgable themselves.

The Benes

According to many gallery professionals, the vast majority of gallery representation, show openings, and contract work are garnered from professional referrals, not from “cold calls” so to speak. That’s to say an artist or collector recommending another for representation, a show, or a contract has a much stronger influence than a portfolio from a complete stranger, or even an agent promoting their client. It’s not just a matter of who you know, it’s how you know them. This means that being a well-liked, respected, relatable, and well-known professional is more important than we may realize. Because it’s going to be other people who open the door, right? So it’s the artists who keep showing up for other artist’s openings, who celebrate their peers and colleagues, who make the introductions — their names are the ones that stay front and center, and so it’s usually them who get the most opportunities. 

And it's not necessarily because they’re “networking,” it’s because they keenly understand that art doesn’t exist in a vacuum — not the making of it, the promoting of it, the showing of it, or the selling of it. It’s a community that creates the art market, and you truly need to become a positive part of the community to earn the most opportunities. And here’s the thing: When you dedicate yourself to promoting others, you become a happy force in that community, and people notice — the right people notice — and with your good reputation, they’ll want to associate with you through new projects. To that then, always remember that your brand reflects on theirs, and if you do a good job curating your brand, it’s amazing how many new doors will open for you. Indeed, there's no savvy gallery owner, agent, company, or collector who’ll want to associate with someone known for problematic behavior, personal or professional. Heck, even one ill-advised outburst can destroy everything you built! Truly, I've seen more artists wipe out a good reputation with a single bad post than I care to count, so learn to self-regulate like a boss. In short then, if you behave like a liability, you’ll find those doors quickly closed tight, but be nice, play nice, and support your fellow artists, and you’ll go a whole lot farther. Because when you’re well-liked and respected by the community, you’ll find more support whether from professionals, fellow artists, or collectors. This is one of the big reasons why feuds are far more costly than they appear on the surface — you just don’t know how many doors are shutting tight against you in the larger community when you act out! Not a smart move! Remember this, as Einstein advised, "Weak people revenge, strong people forgive, intelligent people ignore." Words to live by when you're building your bridges.

What's more, being an active part of the community also gives you access to a bigger pool of news and knowledge from details about materials and techniques to those events where the collectors are congregating. Other artists also understand your frustrations, self-doubts, fears, challenges, and your triumphs and defeats, and with their wider net experience, can provide some real tangible help. Fellow artists also likely know who or what might be a good match for your work in terms of gallery representation, shows, collectors, commissions, contracts, or museums, and so make no mistake, other artists can make or break your opportunities. Don't treat them poorly! Just as importantly though, being an upstanding, supportive and active part of the community tends to bring opportunities to you rather than you having to chase them down, always a blessing and a bit of a relief.

So always honor the practice of helping, supporting, and uplifting other artists. They’re not your competition, they’re not your opponents. They’re your colleagues and peers, and in supporting them, you're helping to build a ton of positives in our genre. Indeed, vision, skill, and talent are rarely the problem. Those who get stuck are often overflowing with these. Instead, the real problem is that they’re trying to do it solo, not understanding that getting their art out there successfully is also a social dynamic built on support, reputation, and reciprocity.

Public Image

All this brings us to your public image, the baseline for your success. Indeed, the smart artist astutely knows that all behavior is a function of their brand, their public image. That’s to say positive, professional behavior builds our brand whereas problematic, unpleasant, or combative behavior destroys it. And be careful with what groups you follow and people you associate with — people notice and it will blowback on you. Because here’s the thing: No matter how you spin it, negativity is negativity, and when it comes to selling art, negativity will whip around to bite you in the face, especially in our niche art form. You see, the work created by the most well-liked artists — likable as themselves, that is, not just well-liked work — tends to sell the best and earn the most opportunities while those with sketchy public images will have a much harder time of it. Remember, people usually support those artists they personally like and avoid those they don’t. Why? Because when they buy art, they also buying a part of the artist to have in their lives — art is a reminder, a memory — and so that memory should be uplifting for sustained good vibes. Never forget that our work is a representation of us and so it should embody all the best of who we are.

Now this isn’t to say that toxic positivity is the answer nor is it to say that being fake-y to be liked is necessary. Nope. Absolutely not! You must be authentic and sincere, be genuine. Rather it’s to say that being a jerk, being tone deaf, being a problem, and having problematic associations has its consequences, which can be far-reaching as it expands exponentially through the grapevine. Just not a smart move.

Conclusion

The fact remains — who you are as a person will make or break your standing and opportunities in any art community. In other words, the community is a microcosm of the world as people gravitate towards those who radiant goodwill and away from those who exude toxicity. In short then, don’t be That Guy as that will assuredly compromise your opportunities, potentially burn bridges, and diminish the performance of your work in the market. In contrast, those who propagate altruism usually have the opposite experience in spades, so get out there and start spreading the good will! When we share our success, we aren’t only building a more solid community, but a better future for ourselves as all that good juju gets reflected back onto us, often amplified. 

Never forget that art doesn’t exist in a vacuum — it needs a community to support it. So when we foster that community, we’re actually cultivating a better future for everyone involved, including ourselves. Quite literally, what’s good for our community is good for us, too! So elevate others! Indeedy, the more positive, supportive vibes and information we pump out then, the more we get back to improve our own situation with improved work, expanded opportunities, deeper and more expansive relationships, stronger bridges, higher regard, and a host of other positives that come no other way. So never hold back when you feel that compulsion to spread the love and education! Success is really meant to be shared to uplift those around us and we can absolutely help that along in wonderful, tangible ways.

Ultimately, it’s those who understand the community-minded power of shared success who end up being the most successful in the long run. So never be miserly in your kudos or information, but splatter that good stuff all over the place! It’s good for your standing, good for your long game, good for your potential, good for the community, and most of all, good for your heart. It just feels good to spread those happy vibes around, doesn’t it? So reverse that rivalry and share your success, and you’ll soon reap great rewards from such positively-minded community participation! Your art deserves the success and our community deserves all that good stuff — so let ‘er rip!

“If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.”

— Henry Ford

Reversed Rivalry: The Power Of Shared Success

The Comparison Trap: How To Make It Work For You

 

Introduction

Mark Twain said, “Comparison is the death of joy,” and he was absolutely right. It totally can be. In fact, comparison is more insidious than perfectionism insofar as it pits you against others rather than against yourself, where competitiveness and judgment need to stay. In this, comparison can pummel us, wear us down into sad little nubs of inadequacy and doubt, and all in the blink of an eye. And as our arts push the boundaries of what’s possible and we see all the amazing things our peers are creating to stretch those boundaries, we can feel left behind and lost if we feel we don’t measure up, if we think we aren’t creating such exciting, convention-busting work, too.

What’s more, we have to recognize that our niche art form is fundamentally a comparative situation with its showring element. It’s exactly how we determine “better” — we compare the pieces on the show table against each other and award ribbons based on “better quality” and "more realistic." But whatever that means to you, we should then understand that there’s no escaping the comparison trap in our art form — we can only manage it. As such, we need to develop hefty coping mechanisms specifically for this otherwise we’ll just go bananas.

That said though, we should also realize that comparing our work to others is a natural, inevitable, and very human thing to do, isn’t it? It really can’t be helped. Other work is just out there so we see it then BAM…there it is. So how do we keep comparison in perspective? How do we come to understand its nature? How do we manage our reactive feelings to keep us motivated and moving forwards rather than leaving us frustrated and defeated? How do we prevent our emotions from degenerating into envy, disillusionment, and resentment to keep us buoyant and joyful in our own studio? There’s a lot to consider, so let’s get to it…

The Social Media Trap

In 1954, it was psychologist Leon Festinger who hypothesized that we make comparisons as a way to evaluate ourselves and judge our situation as a means to protect ourselves and identify threats. In other words, we tend to relate information about others in relation to ourselves to develop an understanding of who we are, what we’re skilled at, what we’re bad at, and what needs work. And we do this automatically, that’s the key thing to remember — it’s involuntary. So we need to catch ourselves immediately after this comparison has happened to avoid the trap to instead lean into the good stuff that can come with comparison.

And there’s no other platform that triggers this comparison response more effectively than social media, something new in our long evolutionary history. Indeed, social media is ubiquitous today and the primary platform we relate to each other now, for better or worse. And there’s just no escaping it if you’re running an art studio nowadays. But social media must be engaged very carefully and with a firm grip on perspective! Indeed, it’s such a funny thing isn’t it? Because we only see the good parts, don’t we? People are most likely to share only their peak moments or most amazing news about themselves — their highlight reel — presenting a skewed picture of their reality and your social universe. Then those darned algorithms skew all this even further, distorting reality even more into something almost perfectly designed to make you feel discouraged and inadequate.

And you can get lost scrolling the studios of your hero artists on social media, coming to believe they’re simply more skilled and talented than you are and armed with better techniques, more creativity, better use of color and yada yada yada. All of this is very toxic for your own creativity plus it drains the energy you need for your own art. It can even distract you from all you can do to improve your art, and especially all the good stuff already in your body of work.

What’s more, the number of Bluesky followers, TikTok hearts, LinkedIn connections, Instagram hearts, or Facebook likes that others get with their posts compared to yours can feel like solid proof they’re doing better than you are — that their work is intrinsically better and more popular than yours. But that’s just another illusion! Because you're forgetting about that blasted algorithm that prevents most people from even seeing your posts in the first place, or how it manipulates engagement conditionally. The “likes” on your posts, especially when compared to others is just a windmill to chase, that’s all. Pay it no mind and just keep arting! Besides, why are you arting at all? To garner likes or for your own satisfaction? Which is the better measure of success here?

Because social media rewards us in ways that often activate the dopamine trigger within our brain, especially when we feel like we’re getting the attention and positive feedback from the public and our peers we crave so much. In fact, it’s actually believed to activate the brain not unlike how a drug would, which would explain why so many people get into terrible addictive cycles with social media or place undue weight on its experience.

More still, social media can skew what we think is important in the first place. Really, before social media, did we really care if so-and-so won this and that at some show? Did we really care if their dapple grey that won was a shade darker than ours? No. But because we’re bombarded by so much information — minute information where most of it is meaningless — our brain regards it all as important, giving every little thing equal emphasis that it wouldn’t even have deemed important before. So learn to let it all go — most of it is just noise.

So be careful with what you see and experience on social media. It’s literal lighter fluid on your self-esteem fire, forcing your mind to constantly make these comparative assessments, and often coming up short because of the skewed reality. And social media hits you in this Achilles heel not by deliberately targeting it but because it operates in spite of it. In other words, people simply post their carefully curated experiences to wide swaths of viewers with no real thought to who is looking, without any real thought to collateral damage. So you can end up with this distorted rosy picture you use to compare against your own skills and life — no wonder you might feel inadequate so often online! Never forget that you’re comparing your blooper reel to someone else’s highlight reel!

To that end then, here are some ideas for managing your social media experience when it comes to the comparison trap:

1. Seek connection, not comparison: Work to build relationships and learning experiences more than just passive scrolling. Social media is best used when we apply it to make connections and stay updated on those we care about, not just doom scrolling through people’s studios.

2. Look up, but just enough: Studies show that upward comparison can inspire motivation and pro-active effort. However, this is most effective when you do this with someone just a level or two “higher” than you rather than someone at the top of the game.

3. Count your blessings: Practice gratitude more than grousing. Pinpoint all the things in your studio life, skillset, and portfolio you’ve done really well. Actively acknowledge your accomplishments and triumphs and happy outcomes. Focus on them more than anything else. And stop being so critical, especially of yourself. See, being so down on life, especially your own, can actually change your brain’s wiring to amplify that negativity, compounding the problem, further distorting reality for you and turning it into a bad habit, a bad cycle. Avoid that then by becoming a pro at patting yourself on the back as your first reaction rather than tearing yourself down. Like adopt the role of a caring mentor or teacher when speaking to yourself rather than as a bully who’s trying to get you to quit. So instead of, “this sucks, I’m such a loser compared to so-and-so,” say to yourself, “gosh I really like x, y and z about my piece but next time maybe I can focus on a, b and c, too, more like so-and-so does.” Or instead of becoming envious of all the fame and kudos and recognition another artist is garnering, instead be happy for them because they surmounted untold challenges and hardships to get there. Your turn will come — trust that it will.

4. You do you: Stop competing against your peers! They aren’t your rival enemies, your competitors to be beaten and feuded with— they’re some of your inspirations! They can also be a support system when you need it so don’t burn bridges. Indeed, people at the top are collaborating, not competing. Instead then, focus on comparing yourself to yourself, not to others. Like in her song Rival, Ruelle addresses this directly…

The tide is high

It's sink or swim

My only rival is within

Giants calling round the bend

My only rival is within

I won't let my demons win

My only rival is within

I will fight through thick and thin

My only rival is within

Kingdoms rise and kingdoms end

My only rival is within

This is where it all begins

My only rival is within

The tide is high

It's sink or swim

My only rival is within

5. Foster Joy: Use any artistic comparisons as a springboard for your artistic growth. Instead of indulging envy, which really is a form of fear and therefore hostility, analyze what you admire about another work to see if you can learn from their example for your own. Let it be a catalyst for creative development rather than a source of resentment. 

Negatives

But yeah, that's great and all, but at the same time, there’s a host of negatives that come with comparison, too…whoa, nelly! Perhaps the most immediate and powerful are reactive feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. In this, we may quickly deduce that our work simply isn’t up to snuff in comparison, that it’s comparatively lackluster, not as enticing, or not as correct. And when we see our peers enjoy healthy sales and lots of public kudos…and for us, crickets? Ouch. Without a doubt, all this can be a real confidence shaker and self-esteem destroyer.

This kind of downspiral can auger us right into the ground of creative disillusionment that can be hard to pull out of. Indeed, I’ve heard some artists literally lament, “Why even try anymore?” This is a disaster! Our arts community is benefitted by having a plethora of active, happy artists banging out brilliant works every year, not by hemorrhaging creativity because artists are quitting out of disenchantment, discontent, and defeat!

If we aren’t very careful then, these initial feelings of inadequacy can rapidly transform into something meaner and more toxic: Envious resentment. So fast, jealously can rear its ugly head and permeate every aspect of our arting, poisoning it with its caustic influence. Such plagued artists may sink into a kind of hostile depression as their negative emotions percolate to gain power and potency. As such, they may lash out publicly, embarrassing themselves and making the landscape uncomfortable for everyone, and worst of all, hurting a peer who certainly didn’t deserve it.

Ultimately, perhaps most tragic of all, we may abandon our own voice to copy that of another in the hopes of regaining the traction we think we’ve lost. When an artist compromises, pollutes, or even loses their voice, well…that’s a creative catastrophe of the highest order and a terrible loss for our arts landscape. We need each of those creative voices out there to remain pure, potent, and powerful to feed the diversity and innovation in our art form and to keep it from sinking into clinical sterility, homogenization, and stagnation. This is a prime directive!

So while measuring ourselves against others is often a knee-jerk, natural reaction, it can become a real problem if it causes us to feel continually inadequate, inferior, and depressed. Because it’s important to remember that comparison is really a manifestation of fear, fear of pulling up short, of not being likewise acknowledged or valued or prepared. We’re afraid our art simply isn’t good enough because we lack comparative talent. Yet fear is never a smart place to operate from, particularly when it comes to arting, because it can paralyze and skew our sense of success, even distort our reality and stunt our potential. Indeed, "Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering," said Yoda. So very true.

We also have to be careful with comparison because it can lead to artist blocks. Those feelings of inadequacy can be paralyzing, can’t they? Those little voices in our head beating us down with shame and discouragement can compel us to stop arting completely. What a catastrophe for an artist, for all of us! Truly, when an artist thusly gives up, we all lose. Likewise, always remember that jealousy born of comparison creates a kind of tunnel vision that narrows our ability to see the big picture to keep things in proper perspective. See, jealousy and envy create a false reality that poisons our entire experience, but it's a false reality all the same — it lies to us. The real truth is this: We are more skilled than we suspect, more talented than we know, and more capable that we believe. Never forget that, trust in that, lean into that and we can effectively short circuit the jealousy switch. And also always remember Martha Graham's "divine dissatisfaction" every artist struggles with — yes, even the super successful ones. 100% satisfaction with our work, now or later, has never been part of the promised equation with arting, but that's actually a handy thing by keeping us hungry and evolving and, in particular, prone to reflection to challenge our own conventions. So being dissatisfied with our work is normal, it's what most artists experience as part of the package deal with arting.

Along those lines, while self-improvement tends to happen when a comparison motivates us into a call to action, if we feel that the differences are insurmountable (“She has more talent than I’ll ever have”), our sense of self-worth can erode which is exactly where we can get into trouble. In particular, those with low self-esteem or who tend to seek outside validation are most vulnerable to this effect. In many ways then, poor self-esteem becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. In this way, leaning too much into outside validation can compromise our mental health by increasing depression, anxiety, and a general sense of unease. This is perhaps the best reason to reflect validation away from external sources and back into yourself, onto your own independent measures of success and satisfaction. 

Because our knee-jerk negative reaction is really a manifestation of fear, isn’t it? For example, jealously is derived from fear — the fear of failure, the fear of inadequacy, the fear of being overshadowed, the fear of being left behind, the lack of confidence in our own voice, feeling threatened by the success of others...lots of fears. Fear is the root of it all, so address your fears and you can usually diffuse it outright. "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain," wrote Frank Herbert in his book, Dune.

Avoiding the Comparison Trap

Because — yeah — in many ways, creative comparison can be a trap for artistic growth. Like if we begin thinking that someone else’s work is better than ours and we’ll never be good enough, we aren’t only wrong, we’re getting ourselves distracted. We should always remember that our voice — our magic — is ours, and ours alone. It's unique in all of space and time, and it's a gift given only to us. But when we start trying to be like someone else, when we’re trying to create work that’s not really us, we’re dismissing our own magic, and may even compromise or pollute it. Ultimately then, we’ll miss our full potential and dishonor our magic — our voice — that was given to us by the universe. Don't do that.

So we need coping mechanisms to manage the comparison experience that inevitably happens every time we look at other’s work. Yet once we’ve developed those coping mechanisms, we may find they’re both a blessing and a curse in their way. Like we’ll come to be better able to learn from all those comparisons to improve our own work, but we’ll also have to constantly battle the sense of inadequacy, regret, and frustration that comes with that, too. Indeed, that sense of “will I ever be good enough?” as we’re learning can be a real task master. Because it’s hard to look at the stellar work of other artists and wonder if we’ll ever be that good, too. Yet every artist — every artist — has suffered this discomfort at some point in their career because it’s part of being an artist and it’s part of being human and it's intrinsic to the learning curve.

And artists are notoriously self-critical of their work to begin with, aren’t they? Truly, what looks like a masterpiece to the audience will still be poop in the eyes of the artist who created it simply because they see all the errors, all the shortcomings that don’t match their vision and expectations or milestones. And then we have that negative bias hardwired in our brains that makes sure we fixate on all those errors and ignore all the good stuff, putting us on a loop of failure and regret. But a couple of realities to note here before we descend into disillusionment. First, when we compare our finished piece against our vision, that's really an unfair comparison, isn't it? Why? Because that vision is that nebulous and impossibly perfect vision in our heads and not an expression of what's real. We're literally comparing an idealized fantasy to practical reality so no wonder why our art always comes up short, right? We're comparing apples to oranges! And then second, if we're really noticing reality, we see that others don’t see those flaws in our art we see, do they? Nope. Really, we might be quite surprised at just how many people love our work despite all its perceived shortcomings! And it’s amazing how this happy dynamic can be everything we need to keep going, isn’t it? Because hey, yes, we may not be creating art exactly the way we want to, but it’s still connecting with people and moving their hearts all the same — that’s a win!

So all the same, how do we know if we’re stuck in the comparison trap? Well, here are seven warning signs. And this trap is important to avoid. Why? Because comparison can lead to fear which can lead to jealousy which can lead to hatred which can lead to feuds and gosh knows what else. How pointless is that? So…

1. Are you lacking joy in your art? This addiction to comparison with other people’s successes can suck all the joy right out of arting so quickly, to the point where it can prevent you from arting in the first place. So if arting has lost its joy for you, think twice and reevaluate. Ask the hard introspective questions and get answers.
2. Do you have artist’s block? So often when we think we don’t measure up when comparing ourselves to others, our sensibilities become paralyzed and our creative flow just stops. And if we have a perfectionist streak, that can compound this problem a hundred fold. This fear of anticipated failure can indeed be debilitating for the artist, even leading to a lifetime of struggle. 
3. Do you feel resentment at your predicament, or at another artist because they’re enjoying more fame and success than you are? When we feel inadequate, we often feel threatened, we feel afraid, and that can manifest as a growing acrimony against our situation or any artist we feel poses a threat. And resentment can turn into a whole passel of other toxic emotions that can stifle you even more.
4. Do you feel insecure? Like when we’re constantly thinking we’re not ready enough to finish a piece or debut it or start showing or what have you, that a pretty sure sign that we’re feeling insecure about it, that we’re feeling insecure about our artistic endeavors even, that we aren’t comfortable in our own artistic skin. And what’s the likely culprit for this? Comparison.
5. Or do you find yourself rushing your work and cutting corners, too eager to finish quickly to garner the kudos, to get that reward of affirming validation? Well, it’s probably because we’re feeling threatened or inadequate and need constant and immediate external validation. But good work takes time, building your reputation takes time, creating a solid body of work takes time — it all takes a lot of time. So give it its due time and investment of your effort. Your art will thank you later and so will you. 
6. Are you unable to appreciate the success of others? Do you secretly rejoice in their failure? That’s your fear showing again. However, there’s evidence to show that we can reap positive benefits from social comparison if we just spin this reaction into something positive. For instance, we can feel good over someone else’s good news, right?
7. Do you indulge ingratitude? It’s easy to get wrapped up in the glories and good fortunes others are enjoying, wishing so much that this was all ours, too. But in doing so, we’re probably overlooking, even dismissing, all the awesome things in our own life, aren’t we? All the blessings and positives we have? It’s important to stay firmly planted on those positives, to count your own blessings before you even consider someone else’s life circumstances. Never take for granted the good in your own life! It’s the necessary balance to reality that comparison distorts!

In the end, the best antidote to the comparison trap is to develop and preserve a strong sense of self. For artists, that means developing and embracing a strong voice and sense of creative worth paired with engaging our creativity aligned to our convictions and truest beliefs and most earnest visions. Like do we need external validation of our work to feel good about it, or do we have our own independent sense of success and worth? What do we feel about our work in the absence of feedback and affirmation? Can we still be proud of our work even if we created in a social vacuum? Would we still love creating our work even if we showed it to no one? Consider these questions regularly and thoughtfully to help dampen the reactive fear that leads to so many problems. Because if we’re going to live an artist’s life, we need to lose the fear of failure because failure is part of the package deal. Indeed, arting promises many things, but it never ever promises perfection! Again, there’s that whole "divine dissatisfaction" effect Martha Graham so wisely spoke of, for instance, but there's this, too: Missteps and mistakes and regrets are as much a part of arting as paint and clay. If we’re always paralyzed by these reactions then, we won’t be making much art, will we? 

So always keep things in perspective. For example, we should focus on creating a lot of our art — eagerly and joyfully — which is where our energy should be spent, not on spending that energy comparing ourselves to other artists. That can be so very counter-productive. Honestly, throughout life we’ll always be confronted by art better than ours, by artists with more refined skills than ours, with ideas that are bigger than ours — and so what? What does that even mean? Really? Nothing. Why does it even matter? It doesn’t. It’s all relative, isn’t it? And if we’re creating our art for our own satisfaction, what other artists are doing really is quite irrelevant, isn’t it? “I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free,” said Georgia O’Keefe, and she’s absolutely on point. Create from that headspace, and we're all set.

Now if we find ourselves addictively comparing our work to other artists regardless, think about this: Replace those comparisons with the right questions. For instance, why am I fixating on so-and-so’s work? What do I need from this comparison? Why am I feeling this way? Am I feeling unrecognized and invisible? Why do I want the fame so-and-so has? What can I do to make my work more visible on the market? Is there a media or method I’d like to explore? What’s the necessary next step for me? What sort of pro-action can I do to get there? Along those lines, why are we even driven to compare ourselves in the first place? That’s an important question to ask. So to start that exploration, here are three compulsions that drive us to comparison so if we can avoid them, we’ll have short-circuited this pesky bad habit…

1. Circumstance: Get off social media’s addiction cycle! It’s just a tool and it’s not real — none of it is real. It’s an illusion, a skewed sense of reality. Remember, you’re comparing your blooper reel to someone else’s highlight reel! And the algorithms skew matters even more. So never forget that it’s all been curated, edited, and carefully manipulated to present a rosier picture than things actually are.
2. Inadequacy: Remember that when we look at someone’s “better” art and have a negative reaction to it, what we’re really experiencing is fear. We’re afraid, we’re insecure yet still desperate for validation and affirmation. And so very quickly, that fear can manifest as envy, jealousy, shame, lashing out, regret, resentment, depression, and anxiety, any number of toxic reactions. But ultimately, it all boils down to fear so if we recognize that perhaps we can reroute that energy into something productive, like towards improving our own work, circumstance, and attitude, towards growth rather than regression.
3. Impatience with ourselves: When we have these toxic feelings, we want a fast correction, don’t we? We want quick fixes to get us where we want to be with our work and our fame. We want that instant affirmation and validation. But creating good work takes time. Improving our skills and Eye takes time. Building our name on the market takes time. And effort — a lot of pro-active effort. And you can’t cut corners here! You just have to put the work in, no matter what. And honestly, that's where our energy is best spent anyway, right?

We should always dissect our need for comparison and external validation. Because when we ask ourselves these kinds of introspective, pointed questions, we quit being distracted by all these comparisons and refocus our attention back onto us — where it belongs — and away from things beyond our control, the circumstances of others. So let's free ourselves from this thief of joy — comparison — and stop looking outside of ourselves for validation. Reflect it all inwardly to truly find peace and composure as a happy, forward-striding poised artist.

However, more times than not, we — being human after all — slip into the negatives that come with comparison if we aren’t careful, don’t we? That whole “I should” dynamic can be a real pickle that can blast apart our motivation and paralyze us. For example, "I should be able to paint my dapples better, like so-and-so, I should be able to sculpt eyes more realistically and expressively, I should smooth my clay better so it’s more blended, I should be selling more of my work for better prices like who’s its." I should I should I should. That’s a trap in itself! So what are some ways out of this “I should” trap? 

Well, first, we should surround ourselves with artistic peers — our fellow artists. For one, they intimately understand our challenges and speak our language. They get the whole artist experience, especially in our curious little niche art form. Having that support system can mean the world when we most need it, too, so foster those connections and relationships. And for another reason, they can provide useful feedback and affirmations because they’re living the art life, too. They get it.

Then second, find an online community that’s positive. Not neutral, and definitely not negative, but positive. NaMoPaiMo is a great example of a positive community in our genre, for instance. And participate in these positive communities — we should give as much support as we get so make connections and offer positive feedback. 

Third, we should only compare ourselves to ourselves. So study our older work and allow ourself to be bowled over by how far we’ve come — be surprised. And use our own milestones to gauge progress, our own metrics of success, our own measures of achievement. What is most meaningful to us in our work rather than what we think what would be to others? So dump the need for external validation and turn that focus inwards. What makes us happy and feeling successful with each new piece on that deeply personal level? As Elizabeth Gilbert would say, always “come home.” Always always always.

Fourth, when we use comparison to establish new goals, we should build a strategy, a plan to achieve them. So break our comparisons down into actionable baby-steps, proactive strides forwards to rectify those gaps. Maybe more field study to get up close and person with our subject more? Maybe more artistic exercises to refine your Eye? Maybe take some classes and workshops to hone our skills and expand our media options? Work on our art more often to crank out more pieces? Do we need to engage art play more often? So we should study those artists who make us feel inadequate and dissect how they got to their level of expertise. What do we need to change to get closer to their example? Even better — do they offer classes or books?

And finally, fifth, if all else fails, we should pull ourself out of your own art head for a while and focus on something else, on something else that makes us feel like we're doing something productive. Organize our studio, take some classes, try some new media, do some sketch work or maquettes, participate in a challenge, or what have you. Just something that makes us feel like we’re still moving forwards — because we actually are.

Because does it all have to be doom and gloom? Can’t there be some productive aspects we can squeeze out of any given comparative situation? Yes, sure, feeling comparatively inadequate bites, but is that really the truth of the matter? No, not really. Are we really being fair to ourselves in this assessment? Probably not. Could there be better ways to frame our reactions when we make comparisons? Most definitely.

Positives

Happily, we can indeed reap benefits from a carefully managed comparison. For instance, self-improvement tends to happen when a comparison motivates us into a call to action. Like we can learn from them, we can jump start our inspirations and motivations, we can expand our own creative paradigm, and we can use them as a yardstick to gauge our own progress to stay focused and moving forwards. There are lots of ways to spin it upwards into a helpful lesson. For instance, if we accept that so-and-so painted the best dapple grey ever, use that to paint the best dapple grey that we’ve ever done, something squarely within our reach. Think about the Dutch term for benign envy, “benijden,” which describes the motivation generated by someone else’s incredible example.

The thing to remember about comparison in this regard is that we have a “negative bias” hardwired into our brains that fixates on the negative aspects of any given situation and jettisons the positives. This was probably engineered by evolution to increase our survival by avoiding future threats, but when it comes to art, it sure is a burden, isn’t it? With this negative bias then, we’ll simply fixate on all the perceived bad aspects of our work or our circumstance and ignore all the good stuff. We can get lost in the idealized lives of other people and their idealized work, and forget to enjoy our own amazingness. Like it’s precisely why we can get a hundred congratulatory comments, but instead focus on the one lackluster quip way out of proportion and ad nauseam. Likewise, it’s why we’ll fall into the trap of negative comparison rather than perceive all the great parts of our work that are there right in front of our noses. So here’s the point: Our negative fixation isn’t telling us the truth, is it? Nope. It’s presenting a prejudicial, lop-sided skew of reality, a kind of reality fib that we definitely shouldn’t believe. The greater truth is to be found in a more rounded interpretation of the situation so absolutely, work to factor in all the good, too. Don’t dismiss it, don’t ignore it, don’t down play it — it’s important. Why? Because it’s the balance we need to come to a fairer assessment of our work or situation. Absolutely then, pro-actively patting ourselves on the back more often isn't only good for us, it's the balance needed to counteract that pesky negative bias. So we should become our best advocate and cheerleader! It can take a little bit of extra work, but it’s creative self-care of the highest order — practice it religiously and enthusiastically.

So once we have a more balanced view of our circumstances, we can become more open to learning from the work of our peers, can’t we? We can flip that negative reaction into a productive one with a single attitude adjustment. So study their works…discover what works for us and what doesn’t, what’s innovative and where our work could use such an injection of novelty. Interpret their remarkable work as a springboard for our own new, original work, explorations, and innovations because that’s exactly how it all should work, and not just for a healthier situation for us, but for the benefit of our professional relationships and our larger arts community as well. Absolutely, the stellar work of others is literal permission for us to stretch even further in our wild whimsies. They’re the license we need to put our own skills to a harder test to really challenge ourselves in fabulous, fun new ways. Really, if we feel the work of another artist is way better than ours, isn’t that a call to action rather than a defeat? 

So take all that reactive energy from our emotions and reforge them away from fear and into amplified motivation. Morph them from disillusionment into determination, from resentment into rousing gusto, from ennui into enthusiastic forward momentum. It can be done with just a bit of a paradigm shift. So take this opportunity as a pivot point for improvement rather than fixating on any perceived failures. In fact, this is the perfect time to take classes and workshops to beef up our skillset, hone our motivations, and most of all, expose our sensibilities to new methods and aesthetics that could enrich our work in novel new ways. It can also be a great time to lean into advanced artistic exercises that challenge our skills and philosophies to push us up into a new level. See where it can all take you — it can be quite exciting! It could be the dawn of a whole new creative you! It’s a beginning, not an end, it’s adventure, not a debacle!

Conclusion

It’s a slippery slope to default into negativity. It’s easy, it’s fast, and it’s very human. Because it takes work to rise up to the positives, doesn’t it? We’re tasked with pro-active work to do that, and sometimes the energy and motivation to do just that is hard coming for various reasons. But be pro-active about it — make it happen, somehow. You’re worth the effort, your art is worth the investment, and your joy is absolutely worth that extra step. We need you. We need you happy, productive, and enthusiastic about your work so that our arts landscape is richer, more diverse, and far more vibrant than it would be without you!

What’s more, however, we should accept this unavoidable reality: For artists, it will never be enough. Good will never be good enough. There will always be art that is better than ours, artists who are more skilled or creative, some new idea or media to try, something new to learn, a new vision that needs manifesting…there’s always something! But all this and more is what helps to keep us moving forward and makes arting a lifetime obsession that often leads to our best work.

Above all though, never forget that whatever magic and brilliance you see in the work and fame of others, you already have in yourself, in your own way — it’s your own magic at work. So anchor yourself to the potential of your own artistic voice, and gauge your successes or failures compared to that. And learn to trust your own voice, your own artistic intuition, and navigate by that. All this will orient you on the path of excellence you need to be on, and you’ll find your own independent measures of success that speak more to your artistic autonomy and agency in healthier terms. When you can get to a centerpoint of creative poise and composure, with the chaos of creativity happening around you regardless, you know you’re in the right mindset to do your very best work — happily and joyfully. "Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence....Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself...You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here," says the Desiderata.

So if “comparison is the death of joy,” then let it also be the birth of moxie so you can find a new kind of satisfaction in your work. Let it be the beginning of something great rather than an ending, let it be the start of a new creative you, brighter, shinier, and freer so you can keep striding forward, confident, focused, and determined. So let your fear go. Just let it go. It’s needlessly holding you back and throwing obstacles in your path, but only you can release it. So take a breath, learn to relax, open your hand, and just let it slink away. You’ll soon find that you never needed it in the first place and that your joy is such a better motivator than your fear. Find that love of arting again in your soul and finally “come home” again, content, happy, and empowered. The truth is, you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone. You have nothing to prove. You got this.

“An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one.”

— Charles Horton Cooley

The Comparison Trap: How To Make It Work For You